Intimate O(pi)nions

Posts Tagged ‘devil is in the details’

I didn’t mean to sound negative there. Let me explain.

Often, I think when we fill out profiles, we’re thinking about all the possible ways people may think bad of us if we say this or say that, and we might feel tempted to embellish the truth or put a spin on the truth. However, there’s really no need to do this, because there is ALWAYS a negative aspect to everything you could possibly think of to write, if the reader is the type of a person that ALWAYS sees the negative in everything. Let me give you an example. Fill in the income-form, and you can work too much, not work enough, or be a colourless average Joe. If you don’t fill out the form, you are either out of job or secretive. The mere filling out the form might be considered materialistic, or that you expect to support your wife and kids, and therefore have values from the 50’s, expecting your wife to do all the housework and raise the kids and not have a career herself. See what I mean? There’s no way to appear in a positive light if someone wants to see you in the negative.

But why would anyone want to? The simple reason: They are in the mindset that they will not find someone good enough. That is just not the type of future they can realistically see for themselves. They believe that they are doomed to being alone or in a bad relationship, and therefore there has to be something wrong with your profile to justify not contacting you or not responding to your email. They see it as foolish “falling for your bullshit” if they contact you, and therefore, the only option is to decide you’re full of it and not find out for sure. Trust me, this says more about them than what it says about you.

What is there for you to do? Just the same as I always say: Just be honest. That way, you will attract the right person when she or he reads your profile, someone who hasn’t got a pre-decided view on you as they land on your profile. Someone who is capable of positive thinking and believing good about other people. Isn’t that what you want anyway?

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