Intimate O(pi)nions

Archive for October 23rd, 2009

Inspired by yesterday’s episode of Beauty and the Geek (Australia) I thought to write specifically to you geeks out there who think they can’t score. :p First of all, I want to tell you that “geek” is no longer a curse word, or an insult, but you should be proud of being a geek. I myself consider myself geeky, but not nearly geeky enough for my own liking. :p Anyway, the point is: Because you’re a geek, you’re smart and you know it, and therefore, everything else that you need to achieve to be attractive to women is well within your reach; you can work out, you can dress better, get a hair cut and work on people skills, but if you can never be smarter than what you are. You can always work on the package and presentation, but you can’t sell buggy software without getting returns, right?

Studious as you are, you should approach the subject of women from a scientific point of view. Psychology, even though not as specific science as the rest, is still a science. And psychology of women is simpler than you think. You CAN understand women, and since you’re smart, you’ll probably be better at it than the jock that will simply see them as beautiful shells that will meet their needs.

Fix the package

1. “Hire a graphic designer team” which in this case means that ask around on Twitter or any online public forum Yahoo Answers for example, for tips on the best hair stylist in your area. Get an appointment and tell them that you’re updating your look from geek to geek chic, and give them free hands to do what they think is necessary. Just go with it, it can’t get any worse, right? And remember that most of us are shocked after a hair cut, it doesn’t mean it’s bad, it’s just that you get scared every time you look in the mirror for the next 4 days. You do own a mirror, don’t you?

2. Go shopping, or see if you already have what is called “Geek chic”. Believe it or not, there are people who are trying to look as smart as you, and since they don’t have the brain, they go for your clothes. Now it’s time for them to give back. Get what the fashion gurus have refined on the basis of geeky clothes, and just tidy up your wardrobe a little bit. There is no need for you to erase geek from you, in order to be attractive. If you don’t believe me, watch this video. Ignore the terms that they use for the clothing, I have no idea what he meant.. You might actually because you’re a geek.. Anyway, if you don’t don’t panic. The key is to find colours that don’t clash (avoid bright colours if unsure, or avoid colours completely and just go with black and white or greys) and to wear clothes that fit well, don’t sag nor squeeze. If you are unsure of what to wear, twitter around for a good shop and go in; tell them you’re going for geek chic and let them work on your look. Once you’re comfortable and they’re happy, you’ve got the look. And remember, you don’t have to turn yourself into a fashion poser, just adapt a little, make some refinements, tidy up. Think of yourself as the real thing, while the fashion chics are trying hard to look like you. In other words, if you make a mistake in your look, it just makes you more real.

How to meet women?

Simple answer for any geek: Get online! There are tons of frustrated but great women online just waiting for someone to talk to them directly, and not try to fool them into believing the guys are for real. There are a lot of practical information in the FREE eBook I wrote, so just get that and have a read. (I’m so happy I can trust you know what a pdf is and that you know how to read!)

Once you’ve got your girl in sight, by following a few simple rules, you’ll ignite attraction:

1. Give her attention, but not too much. You don’t want to make her think that you’re there for her for any whim she might have, and that you’re prepared to serve her on your knees. That’s probably what you’ve been indirectly told to do, and the women that go for this approach are not worth your attention, so quit it. :p Treat them as you would treat any male friend you may (or may not) have. (When you get to the eBook, there’s more about desperation and this is where it is relevant.)

2. Be confident to know that sometimes being unsure of yourself is the most attractive thing you can do. What a contradiction, eh? What I mean by that, is that you can show people that you’re not too sure how to handle yourself and that you are scared, while still be confident in the fact that you are still a lovable person. People don’t love other people for their perfection, they love them for who they are. Therefore not pretending is the best thing to do, and just trust yourself to be good enough as you are.

3. You can talk about Star Trek, Battle Star Galactica, forest fungus, and astronomy if you like, but try not to stay in one topic for too long. Remember to ask your date what she does for fun and for profit, if she has been online for long, if she blogs or that sort. You found her online, so there is a good chance she’s been dealing with computers for some time, and that she might enjoy the net, and that is something you probably relate to in some level anyway. If she gets excited about any topic you come up with, you can safely stay in that topic for as long as she keeps eagerly coming up with responses. Don’t be afraid to stray from the topic by mentioning something that she reminded you of, as long as you don’t interrupt her too brutally. At least let her finish a sentence. :p (Oh and you’ll actually know what a sentence is, you smarty-pants you!) If you get into an awkward pause, just ask her something simple like what is her favourite movie or TV-program, if you bother to watch TV that is. (You might not want to ask about bands or other pop-culture stuff as you might end up having another awkward moment as you won’t know which band she’s talking about, I know I always end up in that pickle myself.)

4. I don’t have a particular appreciation for women who are very fussy about how a date should go, where you should take her, if you pay and how much and the sort, so I won’t give you any lists of that kind. But you should pick the place for 2 reasons; You may be expected to pay for the date, so it has to be in your price range, and also it would be uncomfortable for her to pick a place not being sure of how much you’re willing to pay. Secondly, it shows confidence if you pick the place, and confidence is attractive. Take her where you are comfortable, but obviously your home and her home is off limits for security reasons. My point here is that if she dumps you for not taking her into the right restaurant, then good riddance. Some women are very vocal about not wanting “a cheap date” but what does it really say about them? If you are really nervous, a café is a good place to start, then move on to a movie if you’re not keen on talking too much. If you like talking, which would be good, take the date to your area of expertise and take her to a museum of which you know a lot about and can function as a tour guide if needed. Just remember when you tell her stuff, avoid numbers, but add a lot of stories about the people behind the items, more human stuff, less data, you know? Answer all possible questions very simply, unless your date is as smart as you are.

So there. Some advice contradict the advice of the beauties in the Beauty and the Geek, but that’s simply because the girls there are not aware of their smarts or they simply are not smart, and therefore they don’t like “smart talk”. You don’t have to go for the dimmest light in the Christmas tree though, but find yourself a real gem among women, because you’re smart!

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