Intimate O(pi)nions

Archive for September 11th, 2009

Now, we’ve already discussed security issues when going on the first online date, but there’s more to it than that. It’s not too complicated though, so this won’t be a long post!

1. Try to look like your profile picture
It creates a lot of trust to find the person you were talking to online to be very similar to what they looked like online. I have received numerous relieved sounding comments in the lines of: “It was so easy to recognise you” or “you look exactly the same!” At the time I was quite puzzled about it, as I didn’t really think about it, I was what I was, but it has dawned on me later on, that a lot of people enhance their photos beyond recognition, or have dyed their hair or have someone else do their makeup or something that makes them look very different to what they normally look like. So when you’re selecting your profile photo, try to keep this in mind; You have to be able to deliver, and also, keep in mind that you will probably meet the person for a coffee or a beer, so wear what you would in those situations.

2. Ask questions, but don’t interview
Sometimes on a date I’ve felt like I was being interviewed for a job. It is a very bizarre and offputting feeling, and instead of trying to fit what they look for, I’ve simply started to wait until it had gone on for long enough so it won’t be rude to leave. I haven’t personally come accross these, but if you have in mind that you should write down questions to ask, please stop yourself right there. You can always ask them later on an email, but meeting face to face should be about finding chemistry and to see if you are attracted to each other “in the real life”.

3. Imagine you’re meeting a friend
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, you should just be yourself, and the best way to do it is to decide you’re with a friend. They might be a friend you haven’t met before, but a friend none-the less. Smile when you feel like smiling, and so forth, don’t think about it too much. If they don’t like you the way you are, you’ll just have to find someone else. Also, try to avoid an overly critical mindset. If you have decided that all men are deceitful bastards, what are the chances of you seeing any good in any man, right? (Decide that this guy MIGHT be an exception to your rule, but don’t ignore obvious signs and your gut feeling.) And no, it’s probably not their loss if they don’t like you, but it’s not your loss either. It’s not about attracting this person, it’s about finding the right person, savvy?

4. What to wear?
Related to points 1 & 3, and the question that is on every girls mind before a date of any kind, and probably guys too, is what to wear. If your closet hasn’t been updated for a while, and all you can find is worn out old rags, then by all means, go shopping. However, if you’re still in the going out every Saturday -mode, you’ll probably be alright just picking your favorite casual wear. The best bet is well sitting jeans and a nice top, something you could wear to a night club, but wouldn’t look too out of place for a café. Girls; high heels are always a bonus, especially if you know your date is tall. This way, you’ve got options to continue the date on another location if it feels just right.

That’s it, not too complicated, isn’t it? If my 60+ year old auntie can do it, so can you!

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