Intimate O(pi)nions

A very common belief even today is that if a woman has sex with a man on the first date (or even before the first real date) is that he will lose his respect with her. No man will ever marry a woman he had sex with in early times of their relationship – that is what all teen aged girls will be told by some adult in their life. I was lucky that this adult was my auntie instead of my mom or dad, but nevertheless, I did take her words seriously for some time before I realized it was utter garbage. Nobody looses their respect for you, unless you lose it first.

The problem with this is that if you truly honestly believe that good girls don’t have sex on the first date, you WILL lose your respect for yourself after doing it, and that resonates to the man’s reactions towards you – he will no longer respect you either. However, his reactions to you will not change if your attitude towards yourself doesn’t change. I know this first hand.

Some women seem to believe, that sex is the ONLY thing a man could possibly (naturally) want of them. So there are two ways to go with this belief; First option, preferred by the good girls, is to hold the sex as a price for good behavior until the wedding bells toll, hoping that a miracle would occur and he would actually fall in love. The other method is to use it as a price for any interaction with her at all, hoping that by offering sex, he will come back for more for long enough to the miracle of love occurring. Both of these strategies are based on the belief that a woman carries no initial value to a man, apart from what they can do for him sexually. (= Man is too stupid to think for himself). The belief is of course false, and leads to distorted sexual behavior.

Just by chatting about sex online with men I have noticed that they are beyond frustrated by women who won’t even talk about it. They give you praise for telling them the truth of how things are and why women might feel about this or that. This is a global thing; a Turkish guy is just as grateful of it as a Finnish man, who has been surrounded by rather free spirited women all his life. (The difference is that the Turk would probably not marry you, but the Finn would.) The way the men talk about prudish women is far from being respectful. The men sound frustrated and irritated by them, and dare I say, they think prudish women are stupid. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been said to be “a very intelligent woman” because I went down that road and talked about sexuality in general. I didn’t have to tell them details about my sexual preferences, it was enough to take a general approach. Just talking about it like you were the school nurse wins you points.

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